


Righty Loosey, Lefty Tighty

by Baneberry



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Fanon, Headcanon, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Threesome, drool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 00:56:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17633018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baneberry/pseuds/Baneberry
Summary: If your hands are two sentient dragon heads, does masturbation technically count as a threesome?





	Righty Loosey, Lefty Tighty

**Author's Note:**

> For Happy_Griff on twitter.
> 
> Doublecross doesn't really have much of a speaking role in the IDW series, as seen in Maximum Dinobots and MTMTE, but hopefully he passes in this fic. His dragon heads do not agree on anything, that much I know. Griff was kind to supply some visual aide, too, so I'll share them here: [1](https://66.media.tumblr.com/3dbdfc8be98a6c5fb58a4721bc03ee83/tumblr_messaging_pi92o4JV0Y1qhnzsz_500.jpg) and [2](https://66.media.tumblr.com/7af215ab670f35b833026b3612094cbd/tumblr_messaging_pi92o8cEJC1qhnzsz_640.jpg).
> 
> Find me on twitter, too, as captbaneberry!

"Damn, it's been so long since I've felt such a nice buzz."

"We should have stayed longer. Should have just gotten overcharged."

"Can't you just relax and be mellow?"

"We'd be having more fun if we were fully overcharged!"

Doublecross's suite door was almost ripped open as the two-headed dragon stomped inside. Once the door was closed, Doublecross transformed. "All this arguing's giving me a headache," he growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just shut up and let me enjoy the moment."

"It's his fault," the right hand sniped. "He's the one who can't chill out."

"It's boring!" the left hand snapped. "I want to party!"

Doublecross plopped down on the edge of his berth, momentarily shutting his left hand up to fetch a cube of plain energon to drink. "I'm fine just like this," he said. "I'm relaxed. Don't ruin this for me." Exventing, he sat back against the wall, visor switching off.

"Yeah, stop being a party pooper."

"You're the one who doesn't know how to party!"

Righty snarled. "Oh, don't I? Well, I know you've been feelin' it, too, so why don't we just settle things for a while?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lefty snorted, looking away.

"You're both horny," Doublecross grumbled.

"I am not!"

Righty lifted Doublecross's arm, nuzzling his snout against the Monsterbot's face. "Is it okay if we play?" he purred. He ducked his head beneath Doublecross's chin to rub against his throat.

Doublecross thought a moment. "So long as you do all the work," he agreed. Which technically didn't apply, since their body was his body. But they understood.

"C'mon," Lefty sneered, "you think this is better than drinking ourselves stupid?"

Righty lowered himself between Doublecross's legs, opening his panel. "Suit yourself," he said simply, and started nuzzling against Doublecross's channel. Doublecross flinched, biting down on his bottom lip.

Lefty was completely unimpressed. He watched the right dragon head continue petting and stroking Doublecross's channel lips with the edge of his snout. Little by little, lubricant streaked across its nostrils and jaws. Righty shuddered; one of his horns retracted in segments inside his head, only to protract into a flexible, long tongue in Righty's mouth.

Doublecross groaned, clutching at the slab as the tongue started lapping before working its way inside the channel. Shallow, careful, teasing and brushing slightly against ceiling node.

Lefty gulped, his browplates furrowed and twitching.

Lubricant mixed with coolant down Righty's chin. With a few more flicks of his tongue against the node, Doublecross huffed as his unit pressurized stiffly. Righty's optics brightened, pleased; he raised his head, dragging his tongue up the length of the twitching unit.

"S-Scrap..." Doublecross choked, dropping his head back against the wall.

"Told you we'd have fun," Righty snickered, strands of coolant spilling on the unit. He licked his jowls hungrily, dipping down to lap up the beads of transfluid, leaving behind more lines of drool. "Heh. Guess I'm making a mess. Better clean it up."

Lefty rolled his optics, but Doublecross noted how hot his left hand suddenly felt.

"Feel free to join in any time," Righty purred at Lefty. His entire tongue wrapped around the unit, from base to head. It started working the erection in constricting, wet pulls and tugs; squeezing, relaxing, squeezing.

Doublecross whined, thighs twitching as they fell open.

Lefty shivered. "Nnn... Dammit!" he cursed. He swept down, deliberately nudging Righty's head roughly as he passed. His right horn also converted into a tongue, swirling in his mouth, soaking itself in coolant. Snout pressed to the channel hood, Lefty thrust his tongue inside.

Doublecross keened, bucking his hips. Righty purred as the unit thrust into his mouth. Still a little tight, Lefty withdrew his tongue a few inches. He worked the trembling, wet mesh with slow, heavy circles and gentle probing.

Doublecross whimpered, nearly slipping from the berth. "You... you two..." he vented, entire frame quivering.

_He's really cute like this, don't you think?_ Righty commed Lefty.

Lefty reluctantly responded: _It's... okay._

_I can hear you guys._

Righty bit down, carefully, around the unit-head, and Doublecross writhed, crying out. Not of pain--Righty knew his boundaries. He nipped again, tongue still slithering up and around and back down again, over and over.

Doublecross hoped his roommate was still drinking at the bar. Doublecross sliding slowly from the slab, hands between his grinding thighs. No doubt he'd be asked if this was interfacing or masturbation. He vented, visor glowing brightly in the dimly lit room. Mouth open, huffing and puffing, his own drool dripping onto his chest.

Feeling a sense of competition, Lefty pushed his tongue in deeper. The channel was pliant now, soaked, the front of his snout purple with lubricant. He swirled the tongue with each thrust; where Righty went slow, Lefty went fast and jerky. Doublecross seemed to like it; the Monsterbot wailed, finally collapsing onto the floor on his back.

"M-More!" Doublecross whined, bucking into his hands.

Righty bit the head again, hard enough this time to draw energon. Doublecross promptly screamed, back arching as he overloaded right into the dragon's mouth. Once his unit was limp in the tongue's grip, Righty released him, letting the transfluid spill from his mouth and make a puddle on the floor beside the Monsterbot.

Righty floated down beside Lefty, grinning as transfluid fell from his muzzle. "Need a little help?" he asked.

_No!_ Lefty replied via commlink. _I can do it myself!_ He furiously started pumping faster.

"N-No," Doublecross croaked, "l-let him... p-please?"

Lefty slowed a little.

Righty snickered. "You know what they say about two heads..."

Lefty sighed. He moved his head aside, just enough to allow Righty to get closer. Righty hungrily slid his tongue into the stuffed channel; it immediately went for the anterior node, lapping and rolling it against his tongue.

"Scrap!" Doublecross yelped, squirming.

Righty pushed his tongue in farther, following Lefty's. They stroked side by side, forming a rhythm; Righty thrust forward as Lefty thrust back. 

Doublecross vision crossed; his channel was stretched, stuffed, and it both hurt and felt wonderful at the same time. His mouth formed a big, sloppy grin. "Yes, yes," he purred, "j-just like that, just like that..."

_I think he's gonna fall apart on us_ , Righty commed.

_I'm tryin' to concentrate here!_

Righty snorted. With a shudder, he vented, pushing hot air inside the channel. Doublecross stiffened a moment, corners of his mouth twitching. Sensing the spike in arousal, Lefty quickly breathed heat alongside his right half. Still a bit on the competitive side.

Righty smirked. He arched his tongue, just slightly, allowing it to push against the node. For a moment, it concentrated all movement on the nodule, pampering it with slow strokes and just the perfect amount of pressure. Doublecross's tongue practically hung from his mouth now, his head full of static and white noise. He didn't even realize his unit was half-mast again, still wet with coolant and transfluid.

Doublecross looked down his chest at his bobbing heads. "O-Overloading, a-any...!" he gasped.

The two picked up the pace; Righty moved his tongue back inside, and both dragons pumped together. Doublecross tipped, keening; he squeezed his hips around his hands as he overloaded from his channel. Squirting transfluid and lubricant in their almost unhinged mouths. Lefty, not to be outdone, withdrew first to bite a channel-lip, milking out another small climax.

Both dragons let the fluids join the rest on the ground. "I did most of the work," Lefty huffed. He shook his head, droplets of transfluid splattering the Monsterbot's torso. "That was _my_ overload."

"It was teamwork," Righty grunted, "just admit it."

"No! _You_ admit it! I didn't take credit for _your_ overload!"

"That's because we both know _I_ did all the work!"

"Stop i-it!" Doublecross snapped. "T-The mood... you're gonna...!"

Righty and Lefty tilted their heads, just now noticing Doublecross's erection. "Well," Righty said, looking to his identical partner, "whatta say we _both_ take credit for this one? _Equally_."

Lefty squinted. "Don't slack off on me, but... deal."

Righty nodded. The two hovered above the unit now, tongues hanging from their mouths. Together, they licked up and down the shaft, in another up-down, down-up pattern. Coating it with thick new layers of coolant. Righty stopped to massage the unit-head, tip of its tongue just faintly probing the slit. When he went back to licking, Lefty took over, tongue swirling and rolling around the head.

"B-Better," Doublecross crooned, "m-much better."

Lefty quickly wrapped his tongue around the head and top half of the unit; it was his turn now. Righty didn't seem too bothered. Lefty curled his tongue tighter, snake-like, and started jerkily tugging.

Doublecross moaned loudly. "F-Frag!"

Righty licked the rest of the unit; little flicks between pressing down and dragging slowly. As Lefty picked up speed, moving the unit clumsily around inside his mouth, yanking it back and forth and almost recklessly, Righty clamped down on his half.

Doublecross kicked a foot in the air. He could only wail, visor bursting a beam of white light.

_He's runnin' low!_ Righty commed.

Lefty nodded, and without speaking a word, Righty wrapped his tongue around the bottom half and yanked, fast and rough, at the same time. Doublecross sobbed, shaking his head; overload hit, but he could not release. The tongues remained firmly in place, constricting passage.

"Mmm p-please!" Doublecross begged, wiggling his hips off the ground. "Pleaseplease!"

Righty looked at Lefty. Lefty nodded. For a split second, Doublecross felt as if they were crushing his unit, meaning to snap the damn thing off, but then they let go and with a roar, Doublecross finally climaxed. His hips jerked, thighs spasmed as he emptied himself into the waiting, open mouths of the dragons. 

By the time he finished, Doublecross momentarily lost vision, blacked out, only to reboot a few seconds later.

"I think you'll agree with me for once," Righty gloated, "we did a damn fine job."

"He's a total wreck," Lefty snickered. And though he was a bit hesitant to agree and admit it: "Yeah. We were pretty awesome."

Righty purred, nuzzling snouts with Lefty. Lefty stiffened a moment before finally giving in; he cuddled back, cheeks rubbing, snouts bumping. Righty hummed, gently licking some of the mess from Lefty's neck. Lefty shivered; that competitive spirit returned, and he started licking even faster down Righty's neck and across the side of his face.

Righty giggled, turning so their snouts touched again. He lashed his tongue against Lefty's, the edge just lightly curling around his. Lefty grumbled, letting the tip slip inside Righty's mouth and softly stroke along the insides.

"H-Hey..."

Both dragons froze, looking to Doublecross. The Monsterbot had managed to sit up, back pressed to the side of the berth. Sulking.

"Someone's jealous," Righty taunted.

Lefty raised his head to Doublecross's face. "Don't worry," he chortled, "we didn't forget about you."

Doublecross was about to say something, but then Righty was also in his face, biting down and tugging playfully on his bottom lip. Doublecross gasped, and Lefty quickly dart his tongue inside. Almost brushing against intakes; the Monsterbot grunted, but didn't struggle or turn away. He opened his mouth wider, allowing Lefty to go farther, pet along his teeth, the roof of his mouth, his own shy tongue.

Righty waited, still nipping playfully at his lip, a corner of his mouth. When Lefty gave him a quick look, the right-handed dragon nodded. Lefty unfurled his tongue from Doublecross's mouth, the Monsterbot moaning in disappointment and chasing after it. His partners didn't keep him waiting, fortunately--both their steely tongues wrapped together, drove back into Doublecross's mouth. Doublecross choked, surprised; the corners of his mouth stretched a little to accommodate the slight extra girth. But even just their tongues stroking the mesh lining of his throat felt incredible, their tips always close to brushing at his intakes.

Doublecross moaned, a soft gurgle that reverberated off the tongues. The dragons whimpered in response, their optics dim, cuddling cheek to cheek.

Doublecross sucked on the tongues, slow, building up coolant that trickled down his chin. With one last strained gulp, he sat back. The dragons understood, removing and untangling their tongues. Each head vented, coming down from the rush and overloads.

"We s-should clean up..." Doublecross finally grunted.

Lefty snorted. "He made most of the mess," he insisted, tilting his head at Righty.

"Oh, like we wouldn't have purged all that engex on the floor if we stayed and got head over wheels overcharged."

"You don't know that!"

"Just admit it: I have the better ideas!"

"Shut--"

"--up," Doublecross scowled, bumping the heads together, "the both of you. Damn."

**Author's Note:**

> Since the dragon-hands can shoot fire, it'd make sense if they had ducts for coolant installed in their mouths.


End file.
